You’re wondering why you subscribed to this newsletter now, aren’t you? This is a computer newsletter not a darned produce market newsletter. But not so fast. Not so fast. You can’t use a computer unless you’re alive, right? And you can’t be alive if you don’t eat, right? And if your meals consist of nothing but french fries, Whoppers, and cookies you might be alive (and happy) but you won’t be very well – at least according to dieticians (who, by-the-way, tend to be mostly fat).
In order to use your computer well you need to be well. And you can be well by eating well. But if you don’t know how to pick out the perfect avocado then you might be not be eating well even if you’re eating well because that avocado might not be as good as it should. So you see this site pick has more to do with computers than you ever imagined. And you thought we were starting to slack off.
Speaking of avocados (which are big with yuppies these days), they are an excellent source of monosaturated fat which is the good-for-you fat – and no, I’m not kidding. As you can see from the following snippet from our site pick, picking out a decent avocado isn’t so easy. It’s not rocket science, but then again it’s not easy as say, picking out a new pair of socks. So let the following excerpt serve as an example how this site relates to you and hence, your computer:
Choosing that perfect avocado can be tricky. Because avocados will only ripen after they are picked, it’s really hit or miss in terms of what shape they are in by the time they reach their destination. You can tell if an avo is ripe by the color and how firm it is. If it is bright green and hard, it won’t be ready for a few days at least. A ripe avocado will be slightly soft and have a dark green skin, but it shouldn’t be too soft. If push your finger into the skin and feel a “space” between the skin and flesh, it is past its prime. If you can’t find a ripe avocado at the store, you can always speed up the ripening process by placing it in a brown paper bag, which helps trap the natural ethylene gas that causes many fruits to ripen. Placing an apple or banana in the bag also helps…”
I can feel a space between my skin and flesh. Does that mean I’m past my prime?
OK. Let’s take pears as another example. We all love pears, don’t we?
Like bananas, pears are actually better if they have brown spots on them. You don’t want them to fall apart in your hands, but they should be relatively soft and aromatic. You can always request to taste one if there are many in the bunch that look too ripe. I’ve found that most people who work in produce are very friendly and generous with sampling, but as a rule, the brown spots on the skin are more of an indication of ripeness than rotting fruit…”
I bet none of you ever knew that pears were like bananas did you? And even fewer of you knew that pears were like older men – they’re better if they have brown spots on them. I am really going to go to the grocery store today and ask to taste a pear. I have never done that. I am going to do that so I can see the look on the produce manager’s face when I say: “Hey buddy. I need to taste your pears.” And ladies, I’m sure you’re glad to learn that if your man has brown spots on him, he’s not rotting, he’s just ripe. He may even become aromatic.
I’ve ruminated and illuminated enough. Its time to send you off to learn more about fruits and vegetables than you ever thought you’d need to know. Buying fresh fruits and vegetables is tougher than you think. We need you to eat healthy so you can use your computer better, and live longer so you can read more of these educational articles in this, your favorite newsletter.
Yes fruits and vegetables and computers have a lot more in common than you ever thought – but now you know, thanks to me. Don’t worry about thanking me, just make sure you don’t buy saggy, moldy, or rotting produce. It’s a waste of money, it may make you sick and it might stink.
Eat well, stay well, do well. Visiting our site of the week is a great place to start. Being well means eating well. You can’t do well on your computer if you’re not feeling well. Go pick out some really good fresh fruits and vegetable today and eat them near your computer. Our site of the week is The Produce Worker’s Guide to Choosing Fruits and Vegetables. Live long and prosper.