Do you like oysters? Oysters on the half shell? Oysters raw, \t\t\t\t\t steamed, fried, or grilled? Do you like your slimy bivalves \t\t\t\t\t dripping with cocktail sauce, or do you prefer them fresh \t\t\t\t\tout of the shell. Do you like oysters Rockefeller? Do you \t\t\t\t\tlike oysters on a bun? Do you like McOysters? Do you like \t\t\t\t\toyster pie? Do you like oyster mushrooms? Do you like the \t\t\t\t\tpearls that come from Moldovan oysters? If you like oysters \t\t\t\t\tof any kind I\u2019m sorry, you\u2019ll have to wait for another issue \t\t\t\t\tof InfoAve Premium, the only oysters here are in EB\u2019s \t\t\t\t\tgarbage can (leftover from a huge party last night \u2013 a party \t\t\t\t\tto which I was not invited, by-the-way).<\/p>\n
The oyster I\u2019m talking about here is an oyster with a dot \t\t\t\t\tcom after it. And it has nothing with any other kind of \t\t\t\t\toyster. So if it\u2019s oysters you want, go to Red Lobster or \t\t\t\t\tyour favorite seafood shack. Don\u2019t come to EB or me. We \t\t\t\t\tdon\u2019t have some (as they say down south). EB did but her guests consumed them all.<\/p>\n
Oyster.com is a site that employs a lot of photographers who \t\t\t\t\t sneak around hotels taking real pictures of the real hotel and \t\t\t\t\tthe real rooms, so you get a feel for what the hotel really is \t\t\t\t\tlike \t\t\t\t\trather than what the hotel\u2019s marketing company wants you to think it\u2019s \t\t\t\t\tlike. The oyster folks show you photographs \u2013 the hotel\u2019s advertising photo \t\t\t\t\tand the real oyster photo. And then they give you the lowdown on \t\t\t\t\tthe \t\t\t\t\thotel, noting (sometimes humorously) the discrepancy between the two photos.<\/p>\n
To wit \u2013 Oyster.com\u2019s \t\t\t\t\thilarious staff of writers (who have learned well from me, I \t\t\t\t\tmight add) describe the differences between the brochure \t\t\t\t\tphoto of a hotel in Honolulu, and the \t\t\t\t\t Oyster photographer\u2019s photo (no the photographer is not an \t\t\t\t\toyster \u2013 he\/she is a human bean):<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no! The quiet beach paradise this couple seems to be \t\t\t\t\t enjoying in the above marketing photo of the JW Marriott \t\t\t\t\tIhilani Resort on Oahu does not seem to be quite so serene \t\t\t\t\tthese days. The flawless expanse of blue sky shown in the \t\t\t\t\tpromo pics seems to be\u2026 not such a flawless expanse \t\t\t\t\tanymore.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/p>\n Oh, no, no. In fact, the beach scene you see on the right \u2014 \t\t\t\t\tcomplete with cranes and unsightly green construction \t\t\t\t\t fencing \u2014 is what you\u2019d experience if you and your loved \t\t\t\t\tone took a hot stroll on the sand in your breezy vacation \t\t\t\t\tattire today. The cranes and mess just beyond the sand \t\t\t\t\thappen to be the earliest stages of the massive \t\t\t\t\tcoming-in-2011 Disney Vacation Club Resort Hawaii \u2014 and \t\t\t\t\twhen all 21 acres of that beast are completely built up, \t\t\t\t\tthere\u2019s not gonna be a whole lot of serenity to be had on \t\t\t \t\tthat beach at all.<\/em><\/p>\n Regardless of the construction, the throngs of splashing \t\t\t\t\t and screaming children don\u2019t make for a very romantic scene \t\t\t\t\tright now anyway. Oh, reality\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n See? If you\u2019re planning a trip, or just want to see how \t\t\t\t\tmarketing works and how quickly truth dirties it up, \t\t\t\t\tyou\u2019ll \t\t\t\t\twant to visit our site<\/a> of the week\u2026found by my \t\t\t\t\toyster-eating partner EB by the whale \u2013<\/p>\n Oyster.com <\/a>no oysters \t\t\t\t\tat all, not on the site, nor at EB\u2019s nor anywhere in this \t\t\t\t\tnewsletter<\/a>. Just go to our \t\t\t\t\tsite of the week<\/a>, oysterphobes, there are no bivalves \t\t\t\t\tthere at all. But there is a whole lot of interesting info \t\t\t\t\tabout hotels, and a lot of really funny \u2013 but true \u2013 \t\t\t\t\treviews.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you like oysters? Oysters on the half shell? Oysters raw, steamed, fried, or grilled? Do you like your slimy bivalves dripping with cocktail sauce, or do you prefer them fresh out of the shell. Do you like oysters Rockefeller? Do you like oysters on a bun? Do you like McOysters? Do you like oyster pie? Do you\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[151],"tags":[1190,181,1189],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1874"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1875,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874\/revisions\/1875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}