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I must admit that letters to the editors and responses to articles on Web sites are one of my main sources of fodder for my rants. \u201cUSA Today\u201d prints the best letters to the editor though. They tend to pick out some great letters from morons all over the world. I don\u2019t have any particular Web site that goads me into open rebellion. Web sites vary, but you can be sure that many idiots post replies to articles on news and technology sites that inspire me too.<\/span><\/p>\n For some reason, I get very angry when I see or hear coolspeak. Words like \u201cpartying\u201d, \u201cparty animal\u201d, \u201cbonding\u201d \u201cmic\u201d for \u201cmicrowave\u201d, \u201cfridge\u201d for \u201crefrigerator\u201d, \u201chang out\u201d \u2013 as in \u201cwanna hang out with me?\u201d, \u201ccloud\u201d when used in place of the Web server, \u201cinterwebs\u201d in place of \u201cInternet\u201d or \u201ca gathering\u201d or “networking”, when used to describe what used to be called a \u201cget together\u201d or \u201cparty\u201d. And I hate the term “granular” if discussing anything other than sugar or sand.<\/span><\/p>\n I digress\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cUSA Today\u201d published an article on how sled dogs might hold the key to curing diabetes in humans. This might be good news for those who suffer from this nasty malady, so no doubt diabetics read the article with some degree of interest. The article, of course, opened the door to a raft of coolspeakers who blew off the article as just so much drivel. This brings me to another coolspeak word I loathe and that word is \u201cvegan\u201d (pronounce vee-gin or vee-gun depending on how cool the cool speaker is). It used to be \u201cvegetarian\u201d or maybe I\u2019m just stupid and\/or lazy and there now have vegans. I guess so many vegetarians were slacking off by drinking chocolate goat milk, eating Cheetos, fish, chicken, turkey, shepherd\u2019s pie, etc. that those old-time vegetarians now call themselves vegans. It\u2019s a badge of honor. They became the protestants of vegetarianism; a separatist group so to speak.<\/span><\/p>\n Or like I say, I\u2019m stupid, confused, out-of-touch\u2026 in short, I\u2019m a dolt.<\/span><\/p>\n Better than mere vegetarians, this band of holier-than-thou cool speaking vegans believes that a vegan diet can prevent or cure all manner of diseases including diabetes and cancer.<\/span><\/p>\n \u2014 I want to note here that vegans do, like everyone else, die. And they die of the same things everyone else does. \u2014<\/span><\/p>\n If you know any vegans then you know they like to make a big deal out of their veganism. If you have ever known any, you know what I mean. With just a glance at their gleaming white eyeballs, they say to me, \u201cYou dirty, scummy, meat-eating dolt! You\u2019re going to die from eating that cottage cheese, dude \u2013 wake up!\u201d Hey! I like cottage cheese \u201cdude\u201d! I like it with ketchup on it. Is anything wrong with ketchup? Is ketchup OK?<\/span><\/p>\n I know I am a cantankerous, anti-social, meatbag. I don\u2019t need a vegan to point out the errors of my whales. The vegan assault on the \u201cUSA Today\u201d article about sled dogs and diabetes riled me \u2013 not that it takes much to rile me these days. Their comments smacked of oily, snake oil salesmen spreading their cheesy gospel from a wagon in a traveling carnival.<\/span><\/p>\n Telling people with diabetes that they would have never become diabetic if only they wouldn\u2019t have eaten hot dogs, chicken, dairy products, fish, or anything else that comes from or is extracted from animals \u2013 which I want to point out includes Jell-O \u2013 really irritates me.<\/span><\/p>\n Can you tell I\u2019m a curmudgeon? Good!<\/span><\/p>\n And, vegans condescending to diabetics with such advice as \u2013 \u201cif only you\u2019d switch to a vegan diet you could throw away those insulin pumps and blood-sugar meters\u201d, makes my blood boil. Blood is verboten for vegans, I presume.<\/span><\/p>\n I would find it hard to bond with a vegan and I sure wouldn\u2019t like hanging out with one. I can\u2019t see myself partying with a vegan or going to a gathering of vitality-filled vegans. Vegans are the worst proselytizers of all \u2013 even worse than those guys and gals that bang on my door and offer to save me from the fires of hell.<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s another rant for another time.<\/span><\/p>\n If you are a vegan keep your cool speaking, purified bodies away from my disease-ridden, meat-fouled, carcass \u2014 you eat your bean sprouts and let me eat my Big Mac.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m doing just fine, thank you. A hundred years from now we\u2019ll be dead and your tofu-veggie-stuffed corpse will be just as rotten as my omnivorous one. You don\u2019t think you\u2019ll be dead, but you will. My only regret is I won\u2019t be able to put a bouquet on your grave and whisper lovingly, \u201cI told you so.\u201d I would love to do that \u2013 those are my favorite four words.<\/span><\/p>\n I would expect that a swell of vegans (that\u2019s what I call a group of vegans \u2013 like a gaggle of geese type of thing) would attack me while I prepared my famous pan-seared Pacific Wild Salmon with dill sauce if they ever read this. I know that salmon will kill me -but not as quickly as an angry rhino. I know salmon has mercury in it \u2013 but I eat it anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n I know that that next glass of milk could be my last. I\u2019ll drink it anyway. And, on those rare occasions when I order a filet mignon -which is a rare occasion indeed \u2014 and I do order it rare \u2013 I promise myself I\u2019ll not think of those lithe-bodied tofu-on-a-stick-eating vegans who look with vile disdain upon my meat-and-cheese-addicted, medically obese body.<\/span><\/p>\n Count me among those who choose to enjoy life rather than spending it reading vegan cookbooks, inspirational screeds from other suffering vegans, or worrying about death. So what if vegans live to be 99? Our nursing homes will be filled with mindless vegans sucking pureed carrots from a sippy cup.<\/span><\/p>\n I know what causes death. It isn\u2019t meat, fish, fowl, dairy products, eggs, pork gelatin \u2013 no, it\u2019s not even smoking and drinking. The biggest cause of death is birth.<\/span><\/p>\n If you don\u2019t want to die then don\u2019t get yourself born. If you were never born you\u2019d never have to choose between eating tofu-filled crepes made with organic buckwheat or a sizzling, succulent pan-seared rainbow trout served with spicy au gratin potatoes.<\/span><\/p>\n You\u2019d never have to worry about being obese, having a heart attack or stroke, or being a burden on your children and forcing them to choose between warehousing your old, mindless, carcass in their home \u2013 and thus become a huge load of baggage \u2013 or sticking you in a nursing home and forgetting you except at Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\n Next time you can avoid all these tough choices by making the right choice \u2013 choose not to be born. Birth is the single biggest cause of death even for vegans. It\u2019s going to happen to you, no matter what you eat.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll have a double-cheese omelet and a glass of milk, please.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Venting on Vegans\u00a0\u00a0 I must admit that letters to the editors and responses to articles on Web sites are one of my main sources of fodder for my rants. \u201cUSA Today\u201d prints the best letters to the editor though. They tend to pick out some great letters from morons all over the world. I don\u2019t have any\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23860"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23860"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23860\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23864,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23860\/revisions\/23864"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nVenting on Vegans\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n