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The Longest Month of the Year<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u2026To those of us who knew the pain<\/em><\/span> To me, February is the longest month of the year and the worst excuse for a month ever. Yet here we are again – it\u2019s February. <\/span><\/p>\n Though February is supposedly the shortest month, it is the longest month for me. February this year, like most years, has twenty-eight days. By the time it is over, it will seem like sixty-two days – at least to those of us who live in the Northern part of the United States. Here spring begins on March 20th, according to the calendar, but it doesn\u2019t really begin until sometime in late April\u2026and sometimes it waits until mid-May.<\/span><\/p>\n When spring doesn\u2019t begin until mid-May and winter begins to creep in around mid-October, it doesn\u2019t leave much time for summer.<\/span><\/p>\n February is a cruel cold month. It is the mean, odious stepmother of months. It leads us into March \u2013 when spring is supposed to begin. But, March is nothing if not a big tease. The calendar says spring begins on March 20th. But spring does not really begin in March. At least it does not begin in March in my little town.<\/span><\/p>\n February, where I live, is a month of wall-to-wall clouds \u2013 damp, cold, air; snow, rain, sleet, and ice. February is a month of horrible, cold, dark, ugly weather. Spring is so close we think. But not really. We have sixty-two days of February to trudge through.<\/span><\/p>\n February, where I live, is a month of wall-to-wall clouds \u2013 damp, cold, air; snow, rain, sleet, and ice. February is a month of horrible, cold, dark, ugly weather. Spring is so close we think. But not really. We have sixty-two days in February to get through. Each day a slog through the snow, mush, ice, and mud under unending gray skies.<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t get me wrong, I like winter \u2013 the first two months of it. But I really don\u2019t enjoy February. The best thing we have going for us in February around my little town is waiting for the world\u2019s largest rat, in some little town in Pennsylvania, to tell us all how many more weeks of winter we have left. I don\u2019t need a big rat to tell me. I already know. Here\u2019s my prediction: We have at least ten more weeks of winter left to go; here in my little town. Now you\u2019re all thinking I\u2019m the big rat, aren\u2019t you?<\/span><\/p>\n If you do live in the northern parts of the northern hemisphere, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll empathize with me. If you live in Australia, New Zealand, or someplace else in the southern hemisphere, bear with me. I want all of you living in the southern hemisphere to know I empathize with you \u2013 because you\u2019ve got problems with February too, even though you may not know it. Did you ever think that you\u2019ve actually been cheated out of three days of summer because February falls during your summer season?<\/span><\/p>\n At least our last full month of summer in the northern hemisphere has 31 days. Whereas yours only has 28 (except, of course, during leap years). All those Downunder must relish leap years; because leap years add another day to your summer. But, I hate leap years. They make February sixty-three days long instead of only sixty-two.<\/span><\/p>\n February does have some bright spots \u2013 if you work for the government, schools, or banks. Because if you\u2019re one of those lucky souls, you probably love February; even though the sun never shines and the deep, damp, February cold pervades every membrane of your body. You, lucky people, get yet another day off in February. Presidents\u2019 Day is a holiday for you. Not for the rest of us poor working stiffs, but for you, it\u2019s a holiday.<\/span><\/p>\n And, while it might be called Presidents\u2019 Day, I have never yet met anyone who sits around and ponders the good deeds, heroics, or exploits of George or Abraham on that day. I\u2019ll bet that most of you who work for the government, schools, or banks, will be eagerly thumbing through newspapers looking for Presidents\u2019 Day Sales. Isn\u2019t that true? Of course, it is. I\u2019ll bet that not too many of you who are off that day will spend it cogitating and pontificating about the great American presidents or attending ceremonies honoring them. It looks like Target, Walmart, Neiman Marcus, and other giant retailers win \u2013 while poor old George and Abraham once again are relegated to the role of excuses for even more \u201csales\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n Some of you, mostly female I imagine, find another notoriously bright spot stuck smack dab in the middle of February. It\u2019s called \u201cValentine\u2019s Day\u201d. It\u2019s supposed to be a day of romance, but, in my cynical mind, it\u2019s a way for Hallmark, American Greetings, and other large purveyors of cardboard poetry to make oodles of wampum. According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine’s cards are sent each year. This makes Valentine\u2019s Day the second biggest \u201ccard-sending\u201d holiday of the year \u2013 right behind Christmas with 2.6 billion cards sent. 85% of all Valentine\u2019s Day cards are sent by women<\/span><\/p>\n And then, of course, the candy, candles, \u201cromantic items\u201d and other Valentine\u2019s Day goodies that fill store shelves from the day after Christmas through the 14th of February. Sigh. To my mind, this Valentine\u2019s Day ruse is a marketer’s dream come true. Money, not \u201cromance\u201d is the engine that drives Valentine\u2019s Day. Am I too cynical? Maybe. But then again, I have my reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n Whenever I think of Valentine\u2019s Day, I think of myself as a fifth grader. I was not being very attractive or popular. I was a fat kid. I was certainly no Beau Brummel. My mom had just died a few months earlier and I desperately needed attention. Even more than most ten-year-olds. I began (pathetically) hoping that the girls in my would feel sorry for me and send me a Valentine\u2019s day card. Isn\u2019t that sad? Pitiable even. Of course, not many of the girls did. I recall a song by Janis Ian called \u201cAt Seventeen\u201d and one of the lines in that song is <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cFor those of us who knew the pain, of Valentines that never came\u2026\u201d.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n And, in case you think I\u2019m somehow anti-romantic or picking on women here, I\u2019m not. One of the worst things ever foisted upon the world is the \u201cSuper Bowl\u201d aka “Stupid Bowl”. Here we have a three-plus-hour commercial interrupted by 3-minute intervals of millionaires pushing and tackling each other (professional football). And don’t forget the one-hour halftime show of people screeching and screaming (singing?) and maybe a wardrobe failure or two. <\/span><\/p>\n And if it’s RAP “music”, I’m sorry. It ain’t music!<\/span><\/p>\n If I were a football coach I wouldn\u2019t even want to play in this media circus. It\u2019s a game between two teams that have probably already played each other before \u2013 and no one took notice. It\u2019s a game that is covered relentlessly by the media for weeks. A game that is more hype and commercials than a contest; more glitter than substance. Most of us cannot even recall who won the last Super Bowl. <\/span><\/p>\n But all the beautiful people will be in attendance. If you\u2019re somebody, anybody at all, you\u2019re required to make an appearance at \u201cThe Super Bowl\u201d to prove you\u2019re someone important. Isn\u2019t the Super Bowl the height of American superficiality?<\/span><\/p>\n I like football (especially college football) and I watch many games during the football season. I often look forward to relaxing on a Saturday afternoon and watching college games. But, to me, the \u201cSuper Bowl\u201d isn\u2019t a football game. I don\u2019t have a clue what to call it. But a \u201cfootball game\u201d doesn\u2019t come to mind. Spectacle? Farce? I might be the only person not watching the Super Bowl this year. Does that make me strange?<\/span><\/p>\n Bring on the cereal bowl!<\/span><\/p>\n So, besides the interminably long string of sunless, damp, cold, and dreary days that February dishes up; the tantalizing thought of spring on the distant horizon; and the continuation of a long, dark, dreary winter \u2013 I have other reasons to dislike the month of February. Its 62 days are neatly fitted into a calendar of 28 days. It\u2019s sleight of hand I tell ya! <\/span><\/p>\n February is a cruel joke that is played on me every year.<\/span><\/p>\n And I remind my friends in Australia, New Zealand, and other points in the southern hemisphere, to remember that February is not kind to you either. It cheats you out of a couple of good old days of summer.<\/span><\/p>\n I always try to accept things as they come, but I have a hard time accepting February. It\u2019s the one month of the year that I hate. The one month of the year that has absolutely no redeeming qualities \u2013 except that it brings me one month closer to spring.<\/span><\/p>\n And, it\u2019s just my luck that February is the longest month of the year.<\/span><\/p>\n Think spring!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Longest Month of the Year \u2026To those of us who knew the pain Of valentines that never came And those whose names were never called When choosing sides for basketball It was long ago and far away The world was younger than today And dreams were all they gave for free To ugly duckling girls\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24924"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24924"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24936,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24924\/revisions\/24936"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nOf valentines that never came<\/em><\/span>
\nAnd those whose names were never called<\/em><\/span>
\nWhen choosing sides for basketball<\/em><\/span>
\nIt was long ago and far away<\/em><\/span>
\nThe world was younger than today<\/em><\/span>
\nAnd dreams were all they gave for free<\/em><\/span>
\nTo ugly duckling girls like me\u2026
\n<\/em>(Janis Ian \u201cAt Seventeen\u201d)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n