<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If Something Happens to Me (Avoiding the “D” Word)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n The other day I was talking to one of my sons and I said something like \u201cIf something happens to me\u201d. I told him something I wanted him to do in the event of my demise.<\/span><\/p>\n The older I get the more references I make to my eventual demise. I really don\u2019t know if my demise is eventual, imminent, or impending. I\u2019m an old man \u2013 but even the young don\u2019t know. All I know is we\u2019re all given so many days on this earth and none of us know how many days we have \u2014 which at least makes it interesting. It would be awful \u2013 for me at least \u2013 to know the date of my demise. I mean I think I\u2019d waste too much time focusing on that date or putting things off if the date was in the distant future.<\/span><\/p>\n One thing is for sure, I\u2019m an old man and I don\u2019t have a \u201cdistant future\u201d. As I\u2019ve said, my demise is eventual, impending, or imminent and I can only hope it\u2019s still in the eventual category.<\/span><\/p>\n But what I want to talk about today is our use of euphemisms when it comes to our own demise or the demise of others close to us. We go to extreme measures to avoid the use of the words dead, died, death, and dying unless we\u2019re talking about strangers, those we don\u2019t like, or mass casualties.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance: 80 Dead in Yesterday\u2019s Earthquake<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n If Aunt Millie died yesterday, she is not dead. She did not die, She \u201cpassed away\u201d or \u201cpassed on\u201d. If 60 people died in a plane crash yesterday, trust me, they\u2019re dead.<\/span><\/p>\n So, why do we avoid using the words dead, dying, death, and died, when referring to the death of those close to us? I don\u2019t mean to sound crass, but if Aunt Millie passed away she\u2019s certainly dead. Deader than a doornail even if we say she passed away.<\/span><\/p>\n I do it, you do it, and most of us do it. And most of us, when referring to our own eventual death never say\u2026 \u201cHey Mac, when I\u2019m dead, you can have my riding lawnmower\u2026\u201d We say \u201cHey Mac, if something happens to me you can have my riding lawnmower\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n When you think about it, \u201cIf something happens to me\u201d is a rather nebulous thing to say. Lots of things could happen to me:<\/span><\/p>\n I could have a root canal.<\/span> So we don\u2019t really mean \u201cif something happens to me\u201d \u2013 something is always happening to me. When we say \u201cif something should happen to me\u201d, we mean\u2026 If (when) I die. When I\u2019m dead. When I\u2019m dead and gone.<\/span><\/p>\n We have always tried to avoid the words dead or died. Here are some euphemisms we use in place of the \u201cD\u201d words\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n Croaked<\/span> You can say he or she did any of those things, but no matter whether they croaked, went to meet their maker, are now with the angels, slipped away, pushing up daisies \u2013 he or she is still dead. They didn\u2019t pass away, they did not fade away, they did not bite the dust: They died.<\/span><\/p>\n But for some reason, I say (more often these days)\u2026 \u2018If something happens to me, please do this or that\u2026 or you can have this or that, or please make sure that this or that is done. Everyone knows when someone says, \u201cIf something should happen to me\u201d they mean\u2026 \u201cWhen I die\u201d or \u201cWhen I\u2019m dead\u201d. But no one likes to say \u201cwhen I die\u201d or \u201cwhen I\u2019m dead\u201d because it has such dark or happy connotations \u2013 depending on how one lived his or her life. It would be much nicer to shuffle off the mortal coil knowing one was headed to Heaven than if one were taking the elevator down to the ferry to cross the River Styx.<\/span><\/p>\n But how do you know for sure? I\u2019m not going to assume anything when it comes to eternity, so I\u2019m going to keep on saying \u201cIf something happens to me\u201d instead of \u201cwhen I croak\u201d, \u201cwhen I kick the bucket\u201d, \u201cwhen I buy the farm\u201d\u2026 or \u201cwhen I die\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n So, if something happens to me you can have my\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If Something Happens to Me (Avoiding the “D” Word) The other day I was talking to one of my sons and I said something like \u201cIf something happens to me\u201d. I told him something I wanted him to do in the event of my demise. The older I get the more references I make to my\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25948"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25948"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25948\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25955,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25948\/revisions\/25955"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nI could win the lottery.<\/span>
\nI could get my foot caught in the blade of a lawnmower<\/span>
\nI could win a fruit basket at the local Moose Club.<\/span>
\nI could have a new grandchild.<\/span>
\nI could get stuck in the snow.<\/span>
\nI could get struck by lightning and survive.<\/span>
\nI could lose the rest of my hair.<\/span>
\nI could eat some food tainted with botulism.<\/span>
\nI could get bitten by a rattlesnake.
\nI could win the lottery.
\n<\/span>I could fall through the ice on Sandusky Bay and get hypothermia.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nKicked the bucket<\/span>
\nDirt nap<\/span>
\nDeparted<\/span>
\nBought a one-way ticket<\/span>
\nHad his or her ticket pulled<\/span>
\nBit the dust<\/span>
\nBought the farm<\/span>
\nShuffled off this mortal coil (Shakespeare fans)<\/span>
\nWas called home<\/span>
\nSlipped away<\/span>
\nResting in peace<\/span>
\nPushing up daisies<\/span>
\nPassed away<\/span>
\nPassed on<\/span>
\nIs in a better place<\/span>
\nFaded away<\/span>
\nDropped off<\/span>
\nSix feet under<\/span>
\nDeceased<\/span>
\nMet his\/her maker<\/span>
\nWith the angels
\nGone to Heaven
\n<\/span><\/p>\n