<\/p>\n
Being Honest About Being Old<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n My parents and grandparents (and no one else) ever warned me about getting old. Nope.\u00a0 My parents and grandparents wanted me to grow up big and strong so I had good food, good medical care, plenty of sleep, and all my vaccinations. Back in those days, there were no anti-vaxxers, so all kids and our parents followed the accepted science of the day and got vaccinated. Nowadays, some would call us “sheeple”.<\/span><\/p>\n We don’t live in those days anymore, largely due to the internet and a growing dislike for anything intellectual. Back when I was growing up smart people were revered, today they’re mocked – but let me ease your mind I am not going to wax political. Well, maybe a tad.<\/span><\/p>\n All my parents and grandparents – and I guess anyone else who liked me (and don’t shrug, there were a few) wanted me to be healthy, successful, and live a long life. Two out of three ain’t bad, right?<\/span><\/p>\n So, the other day I was talking to my youngest son (YOUNGEST I say) who is now 43 (!). He’s on his iPhone, in his new car, talking to me via his iBuds um I\u00a0 mean AirPods, and we’re discussing this and that.<\/span><\/p>\n Just about every time I talk to him I do something that no one ever did for me… not my parents, grandparents, family members, older friends, and so on…I warn him about the things he will face when he gets old like me.<\/span><\/p>\n For instance, when I was young (his age), toilets were always the right height. I’d sit down, do whatever, get up, wash my hands, and go about my day. Now sitting down is an adventure. It seems like my old butt’s going to land on the bathroom floor until my flabby butt hits with a thud on the darned toilet that must’ve shrunk.<\/span><\/p>\n Nowadays they make chairs too low. I never used to have problems getting out of chairs, but now it’s a challenge, especially if my old wrinkled behind has been sitting for a long time. It seems to me they make chairs lower these days.<\/span><\/p>\n Taking showers, once an everyday joy is now an every other day challenge – and no I don’t stink – if I could put a scratch and sniff strip here I would, because I know what you’re thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n And young people have things we never had like deodorant you can put everywhere, even down there – yes, you know what I mean. Let me see… the stuff for ladies is called “Lume” and the stuff for men is called “Mando”. The slogan for “Mando” is “Smell better naked” and I am not kidding. <\/span><\/p>\n You think I’m joking, don’t you?\u00a0 Read this…<\/span><\/p>\n Dr. Shannon Klingman, M.D., is the trailblazing founder who created Lume Whole Body Deodorant in 2017. Women loved it and men asked for a whole body deodorant created just for them…” Read more if\u00a0 you dare<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n So, wanna smell better when naked ladies? You need Lume. If you’re a man and want to smell better naked, you need Mando. For me, if I want to smell better naked, I’ll take a shower (every other day). I rarely smell bad in the shower and I’m usually naked in there too. <\/span><\/p>\n I’m sorry, that’s disgusting, and I’m digressing…<\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, I’ve been a good father and I warn my sons frequently about the pit and the pendulum that is aging. The pendulum never stops swinging until they throw you in the pit or euphemistically – bury you – or in my case toast you into hunks of cinders in an oven.<\/span><\/p>\n I’ve warned them about the problems with my eyesight, and they’re well aware of my problems hearing – not only am I old, I played in a rock band for more than 5 years and my ears have been buzzing since. What did you say? EH? So if you’re old like me, it’s your duty, I tells ya, to tell your sons and daughters the truth about aging. And don’t you dare sugarcoat it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And if you’re one of those 75-year-old prevaricators who say they feel like they’re in their 50s and run 20 miles a day, I don’t believe you. Show me proof. The plastic surgery does not fool me – your insides feel and look like just about everyone else who’s reached the so-called “sunset years”. <\/span><\/p>\n Not to wax political again, but I take no solace in knowing I’m younger than the two men running for president of the United States of America this year. They don’t do or feel any better than I do. <\/span><\/p>\n And one thing I can say that neither of them can say is that I write my own stuff!<\/span><\/p>\n Next time we’ll talk about pickleball – that’s tennis for the elderly you know.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Being Honest About Being Old My parents and grandparents (and no one else) ever warned me about getting old. Nope.\u00a0 My parents and grandparents wanted me to grow up big and strong so I had good food, good medical care, plenty of sleep, and all my vaccinations. Back in those days, there were no anti-vaxxers, so all\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26737,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28723"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28723"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28723\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28735,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28723\/revisions\/28735"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26737"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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