{"id":31454,"date":"2026-01-29T09:37:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-29T14:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/?p=31454"},"modified":"2026-01-29T09:37:00","modified_gmt":"2026-01-29T14:37:00","slug":"i-really-does-hates-verbs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/i-really-does-hates-verbs\/","title":{"rendered":"I Really Does Hates Verbs"},"content":{"rendered":"

I Really Does Hates Verbs<\/span><\/h1>\n

I\u2019ve never much cared for verbs.\u00a0 I\u2019m an adjective kind of guy.<\/span><\/p>\n

This morning, I came across a quote from one of my favorite authors, Lewis Carroll. I don\u2019t have many favorite authors, but Lewis Carroll is one of them because of his wonderful word play. You\u2019re probably thinking, \u201cWhat quote?\u201d aren\u2019t you? I will get to that after I submit to you my reasons for my abject hatred of verbs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Verbs are nasty things. They has a nasty, vile temper. They is always angry and disagreeable and they has to agree or they doesn\u2019t work. What kind of nonsense is that? You can\u2019t say \u201cYou done good.\u201d Done do not agree with \u201cyou\u201d or \u201cgood\u201d \u2013 I\u2019m confused about which, but the verb don\u2019t agree. Most verbs doesn\u2019t agree naturally, they needs to be coddled. They is disagreeable things, I tells ya!<\/span><\/p>\n

Why are verbs so disagreeable? Because they are nasty, arrogant things, that\u2019s why. I really does hates verbs. I can tolerate adverbs, barely.<\/span><\/p>\n

Grammarians and English teachers has saddled us poor, confused goombas with all sorts of rules for verbs, and they does this just to confuse us. If verbs wasn\u2019t so disagreeable by nature, we wouldn\u2019t need English teachers or grammarians.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s see: We has transitive and intransitive verbs. We has passive and active verbs. Verbs are so uptight they is tense. Not just tense, their tenseness have levels. A good back rub won\u2019t help a verb relax. They has all sorts of tense levels \u2013 past, perfect, future, past-perfect, future-perfect, and so on. When I\u2019m tense, I\u2019m just plain perfectly tense. Verbs? Not so much. They are so arrogant they has different levels of tenseness.<\/span><\/p>\n

It were bad enough that verbs was nasty, arrogant, and touchy when I were in school, but now it\u2019s even worse. I just looked up verbs by googling (that\u2019s a new verb) verbs. Now I see they has added a whole new category of tenseness \u2013 past perfect continuous tense, present perfect continuous tense, future perfect continuous tense \u2013 what\u2019s with all this verb tenseness? I\u2019d like to gave every verb I\u2019ve ever met a couple of Ativan and has them tell me what kind of tense they feels. I bet they\u2019d be as relaxing and fun-loving my old jolly adjectives.<\/span><\/p>\n

Verbs stinks, to be blunt. I doesn\u2019t likes them. In fact I hates them. I hates to use the word \u201chate\u201d because it can be verb if it’s not a noun. Haha, yes, I know a couple of the \u201chates\u201d in this sentence is not verbs. Ha! I\u2019m not as dumb as you thinks, huh?<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019d think they\u2019d call people who love verbs \u201cverbose\u201d but you can\u2019t because \u201cverbose\u201d is an adjective that don\u2019t mean \u201cone who loves verbs\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

I bet societies who uses a lot of verbs has a higher percentage of people with RLS \u2013 Restless Leg Syndrome. I knows that whenever I encounters a writer who use lots of verbs, my legs twitch \u2014 a lot. I bet societies who uses tons of verbs also have a lot of children with learning disorders. Verbs makes my brain wants to shutter down. Who wants to heard their English teacher droned on about past perfect continuous tense and verb agreements? Why doesn\u2019t verbs just wants to get along? Why doesn\u2019t they wants to agree naturally? Because they is bellicose by nature, that\u2019s why! They is cranky, contentious, grumpy curmudgeons left over from Olde English.<\/span><\/p>\n

English teachers loves verbs because they can full up a lot of class time discussing the cantankerous nature of verbs — especially the ones that doesn’t agree!.<\/span><\/p>\n

Verbs are awful, and they makes me think too hard and gives me too many headaches. I says let\u2019s gets rid of verbs and clean up the English language once and for all!<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh! I almost forget. You wants to know who gots me started on all this? Lewis Carroll, that\u2019s who!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ve a temper, some of them \u2014 particularly verbs, they\u2019re the proudest \u2014 adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs \u2014 however, I can manage the whole lot of them!\u201d ( Humpty-Dumpty in Lewis Carroll\u2019s \u201cThrough the Looking Glass\u201d.)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I Really Does Hates Verbs I\u2019ve never much cared for verbs.\u00a0 I\u2019m an adjective kind of guy. This morning, I came across a quote from one of my favorite authors, Lewis Carroll. I don\u2019t have many favorite authors, but Lewis Carroll is one of them because of his wonderful word play. You\u2019re probably thinking, \u201cWhat quote?\u201d aren\u2019t you?\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26737,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31454"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31454"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31455,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31454\/revisions\/31455"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26737"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}