{"id":7106,"date":"2014-02-28T15:57:32","date_gmt":"2014-02-28T20:57:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/?p=7106"},"modified":"2014-02-28T15:57:32","modified_gmt":"2014-02-28T20:57:32","slug":"what-is-a-platform","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/what-is-a-platform\/","title":{"rendered":"What is a platform?"},"content":{"rendered":"

What is a platform?<\/p>\n

<\/b>Day after day, week after week, I manage to e\"\"scape the noose that EB has prepared especially for my neck. She has the platform built and the knot tied. So when people ask her if she’s going to tie the knot, she tells them she already has. She ties a good noose, no doubt about that. The problem is, I’m not too happy about for whom the noose tolls, or looking out the window and seeing platform she has built to hasten my demise. I’m not a young man, folks, but I’d like to live out my years, not have the cut short by an angry EB wielding a noose!<\/p>\n

Anyway, all this, I’m sure, is quite educational for you, but it has nothing to do with computers, and many of you are thinking this newsletter doesn’t either. But I beg your collective pardon!<\/p>\n

A platform is more than a gallows — a place where EB tries to lure me. A platform, in computer terms means Operating System. Why don’t they just call it operating system? I don’t know, but I’ll ask EB after she’s taken her tranquilizer. We don’t the just call it The Internet or The Web? Why do they call it “The Cloud”. It’s for the same reason we call round York peppermint patties “candy bars”, when they’re not bars at all.<\/p>\n

So when geeks and yuppies ask you what platform your running, tell them Windows 8 point one — or whatever. Of course, they’ll scoff at you because you’re supposed to say “EYE OH ES SEVEN”, or “LINUX WATERMELON” or Aunt Droid or one of those non-Windows platforms, er I mean operating systems.<\/p>\n

But fear not, folks, Bill Gates is returning to Microsoft and he’s a visionary — he’ll make Windows cool again so that yuppies and geek types don’t scowl at you when they ask you what platform you’re using and you say Windows 7 or Windows 8. I would say Windows 10 — that would confuse them and have them running back to peruse the blogs thinking they missed something.<\/p>\n

A platform, in computerese simply means the operating system. A platform in EB-ese, means a gallows. Take your pick! I’m sure by now you wouldn’t mind if EB strung me up for grammatical crimes and misdemeanors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is a platform? Day after day, week after week, I manage to escape the noose that EB has prepared especially for my neck. She has the platform built and the knot tied. So when people ask her if she’s going to tie the knot, she tells them she already has. She ties a good noose, no doubt\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7106"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7106"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7108,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7106\/revisions\/7108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}