Yesterday I took a walk. My friend David walked around his domicile in Georgia and I through the Ohio countryside. Although we\u2019re old, we are technologically hip. We talked on our cell phones for a little while as we walked. I walked a couple of miles, David walked five. Or so he says.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re younger than 50 this will be unbearably boring; it won\u2019t have a bit meaning to you. So go away. If you\u2019re a man over 50 you\u2019ll get it. You might not like it, but you\u2019ll get it.<\/p>\n
Face it, if you\u2019re over 50, you are spending your time on the Web looking at scantily-clad women, reading about colon, bladder, and prostate issues, trying to control your soaring cholesterol, clear your clogged arteries \u2013 and maybe even considering eating a more healthy diet and starting an exercise regimen. In that case you might want to keep on reading. I might save you from the agony of celery sticks and riding around for miles on bicycle with a seat designed for a twenty-year-old bottom. It occurred to me that you could be wasting your time. (Well, maybe not the scantily-clad women part.)<\/p>\n
Now, now, ladies, don\u2019t get upset. I\u2019m only stating the facts. Don\u2019t be so Victorian. This is the age of endless Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis TV commercials. You know the ones with the fawning middle-aged jezebels pawing their rotund objects of affection. Come on! Keep reading! You might actually enjoy this look into the bizarre minds of old guys fighting in vain to forestall the ravages of time. You might even take away a tiny morsel (no pun intended) of knowledge and insight into the hardening brains of pathetic old guys like me. If you are offended by scantily-clad women don\u2019t worry. There are absolutely none of those here. This is just boring old geezer stuff. Geezers like me are harmless. We spend most of our time safely ensconced in recliners, snoring away our final years.<\/p>\n
Now guys, if you\u2019re here to learn about colon, prostate or other health problems which target guys over 50, there\u2019s a really good chance you\u2019re wasting your time. Should you eat, drink, and be merry or eat right, exercise and walk around sore and starving for the rest of your life? You want the truth? If you eat healthy, exercise and do all the good things rich doctors tell you to do \u2013 all you\u2019re doing is prolonging the inevitable. It is pathetic, but it is true. You might think that remaining very healthy until the very day of your death is very desirable. Don\u2019t get your hopes up. Your chances of that are very slim \u2013 no matter how many celery sticks you eat, sit-ups you do, or miles your jog. When you\u2019re over 50, there are a plethora of evil things out to get you. I\u2019m sorry to tell you that scantily-clad women are not among them.<\/p>\n
A healthy diet and exercise not only just prolongs the inevitable, but might not be in your best interest either. Got your attention? Sometimes, I\u2019m so proud of myself when I think of stuff like this \u2013 who wouldn\u2019t be?<\/p>\n
It all started when David told me that he attended a business luncheon last Friday. He ate two fried alligator tails but then realized he had to pay for his overindulgence by walking an extra mile or two the next day. We discussed his gluttony critically \u2013 even analytically. Yes, we are that type. You know the kind that grate on your nerves. Anyway, we have these kinds of profound discussions quite often. We\u2019re perky, smart, older guys! Actually, truth be told, we have nothing better to do.<\/p>\n
He observed that the obese members of his work team ate with reckless abandon. In layman\u2019s terms that means they were cramming down all manner of goodies as fast they could shove them in their greasy, little mouths. That got the wheels turning in our rusty, old heads. We began a tossing around the idea that perhaps we (meaning all us older guys) would be better off not exercising; letting ourselves go and eating whatever we wanted \u2013 whenever we wanted and as much as we wanted. Then, like David\u2019s morbidly obese co-workers, would could have that Devil-may-care attitude and run amok at lunch and dinner buffets \u2013 and keep Dominos delivery drivers busy. Or, maybe we should continue on with our ludicrous daily exercise routines and miserably healthy diets, and prolong the inevitable for as long as we can.<\/p>\n
As ironic as it may seem, there\u2019s something to be said for dropping dead suddenly. A stroke or heart attack, brought on by years of over-eating and lack of exercise, might be an express ticket to eternity. If you\u2019re fat and don\u2019t care, good for you. You don\u2019t have a clue when big one is coming. And, you will have had the pleasure of indulging your gluttonous self and never worried one bit about walking any farther than from the couch to the fridge. Heck, if you\u2019re lucky, you might even drop dead heading to the refrigerator for another slice of cold pizza and another beer. What a way to go! No lying around while smiling hospice nurses patronize you. No wasting away for months writhing in pain from old age or some awful terminal disease. Nope. Dropping dead on your way to the fridge for more food and drink does have a certain appeal. If you\u2019re a deep-thinker you really have to agree \u2013 don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
Those of us, like David and I, who monitor our diets carefully and exercise regularly, might well end up ridiculously old, shriveled-up, drooling, mush-eating, curmudgeons; just mindless old, wrinkled prunes, spending our final days in some run-down, dimly-lit, understaffed, bottom-of-the-barrel nursing home, sucking up the resources of our offspring because we\u2019ve managed to outlive our own. And the reason we have been stuffed away in that awful place? Because we spent years on healthy diets and 10-mile walks. We suffer now and we\u2019ll suffer later. Dropping dead on the way to the refrigerator doesn\u2019t sound like too bad of an alternative.<\/p>\n
We are still able to walk now, but it\u2019s not a stretch of the imagination to picture ourselves hobbling around behind walkers waiting for death to take us, our well-exercised and starvation-thin bodies ravaged by age.<\/p>\n
Is it better to fade slowly and perhaps, agonizingly into death after 80+ years of healthy diet and exercise? Or, is it better to speed up the inevitable and enjoy yourself all the way to the quick-exit ramp off the freeway of life? There\u2019s something to be said about the pleasures of 40+ years of gluttony and napping your life away on the couch. It looks like it\u2019s a toss-up to some, there are plenty of 50+ fat guys, snoozing in recliners, waking up to watch the 3rd quarter of a football game and have another bowl of chips, a couple more slices of pizza and a few more ice cold beers. They\u2019re all tempting fate: \u201cWhat me worry?\u201d Then there are some 50+ guys out jogging and coming home to a meal of cold tofu and carrot sticks trying to prolong the inevitable for a few more years. They look miserable and hungry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some Food for Thought Yesterday I took a walk. My friend David walked around his domicile in Georgia and I through the Ohio countryside. Although we\u2019re old, we are technologically hip. We talked on our cell phones for a little while as we walked. I walked a couple of miles, David walked five. Or so he says. If\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9494"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9494"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9494\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9495,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9494\/revisions\/9495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thundercloud.net\/infoave\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}