Grateful and Lucky
So, last year wasn’t a great year for me, and I got a little morose. But letting things get me down has never been the way I wanted to be, so my inner sunshine took over and lit the way forward. Melancholy brings nothing but sadness. Feeling sorry for yourself does nothing but make things worse and drive your friends away.
But I think it’s human nature to feel sorry for yourself when things go badly. Then again, human nature is naturally full of flaws and imperfections, which is why we call it human nature.
Last year at this time, I was crunching through the snow, walking four miles every day in the bitter January cold. This year, I can barely walk out to the mailbox. Naturally, it’s frustrating to go from up there to down here. But that’s no excuse for being melancholy, or bitter, or morose. Sometimes it feels good to feel sorry for yourself – you sure don’t want others feeling sorry for you. No one wants someone else’s pity. So we allow ourselves a little bit of secretive self-pity. The only problem with that is that it can make you a dour, unpleasant person.
Last summer, as many of you know, I battled sepsis. And it was the worst experience of my life. Until then, I had no idea what sepsis was or how really bad sepsis is. And I hope by writing about it last summer, I made a lot of people aware of it and maybe even saved someone’s life.
I’m still recovering, even though it’s been five months. It damaged my heart, bladder, lungs, and kidneys, all of which, thank the Good Lord, are improving. The osteoarthritis in my right-hip has destroyed the joint and the cartilegs so it’s bone-on-bone, and it hurts to walk. This once avid walker has been diminished to a hobbler using a cane. It wasn’t an easy transition to make. And because of the kidney damage from sepsis, a hip replacement was not an option.
So, I got a little down with more than a little self-pity. I was miserable.
But, Lou Gehrig, who suffered from much more than a bad hip, said, “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.” I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I am lucky and grateful.
I’m lucky because I can still work and do the things I love to do – like helping people with their computers, writing, and reading books. And I have hundreds of friends – all of our subscribers I consider friends. And the good wishes I received when I was recovering last summer humbled me. So many of you brought me sunshine on those darkest of days- and I’ll never forget it.
Darcy filled in for me when I couldn’t keep up with my work and kept things going. I appreciate that so much.
Wallowing in self-pity isn’t for me. So what if I can’t walk four miles and visit my beloved woods every day? There are so many worse off than I am. I’m lucky to be alive. I’m lucky to have so many friends. I’m lucky to have a family that loves and cares for me. It’s not what I don’t have that matters; it’s what I do have.
Thanks to all of you for your support and for reading this essay. I’m lucky. I have gained much more than I’ve lost and I’m very grateful.
Wishing you many blessings, TC and a steady recovery from all that you have been through. I have had my health challenges too so I do know the morose feeling one gets when it first hits. But we have to be fighters and experience everything we can in the time given to us in this crazy world. I pray that each day brings you something to smile about and that you know all of your “friends” are keeping you in their hearts. We do care.
Best wishes,
Barbara
Blessings my friend, TC. It is good to be able to verbalize and share your pain and the grief that comes from the loss of what you can no longer do. It has taken me 8 years, and I still dont totally accept that I can no longer walk my 3 miles or snowshoe. I loved winter activities. I so get where you are right now. My hubby is where you are in the process, and he is having a rough time adjusting, but we have a few years of age on you at 81. TC you are loved by so many of us out here in your peanut gallery!! You, and Darcy, too, have helped me so many times over the past many years. I wish there was something I could do to help you right now, too. Please know there are many of us out here ready to listen to your essays whenever it helps you to write one. I am praying for your steady healing and for joy to return to your heart and life.
Am impressed with your approach and honesty towards your medical issues. Always look forward to your newsletters and wish you well as you progress through your recovery. I am 82 lost my wife of 60 years last year and have my own health issues. Your responses have been an inspiration, especially with regards to letting things get you down. All the best and Happy New Year.
OMG, such an amazing person. I am so very sorry you went though all of this, your outlook is amazing.
You will be in my prayers, you and Darcy are awesome people. God Bless, and Thank you for all you do.
I did not know how ill you were, but know you are thought of.
Helen
Dear TC
You are an inspiration to all of us who value the work you do to keep us safe in this ever-changing tech world, so try not to ever think badly of yourself. Your great advice, humour and common sense are so much appreciated.
May God give you good health, happiness and many more years to enjoy.
Blessings
Rona
I’m 80 and still vertical , Thanks to My Jesus, Hope you are truly on the mend. One truth, Prayer changes things.
Long long time subscriber.
Hello T.C.
I am keeping you in my daily prayers. I sure understand the feelings of loss you are experiencing. Your out look on life
is realistic. Keep up the positive . You are loved and Darcy also. You are and always will be an inspiration to all of us.
Being able to share is a blessing, and glad that you have.
It brings to you all our prayers for health improvements .
Chin up old pal.
Norma
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ~ Romans 12:12
For nothing will be impossible with God. ~ Luke 1:37
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
These verses remind us that, no matter our situation, God provides a path towards a brighter future. He is always ready to give us a fresh start and guide us on our journey. Thank you and Darcy for all the help you have given over the years.
I was so touched by this essay and can only imagine the dark days and nights that formed your attitude and outlook today. I would be honored to be called your friend. You possess an open heart and mind and have accomplished a great deal along the path toward the goal. As I see it, your ‘beloved woods’ served its purpose but now you have been asked to let go of this earthly love and focus on the deeper things that create in us the person God knew we would become someday.
I only hope that when my trials arrive I can emerge as accepting and grateful as you are. Thank you for being an inspiration to us all.