The Dryer
One might think that I was going to attempt to emulate a Stephen King horror story about a clothes dryer run amok. Perhaps escaping from its normal confines, the dryer set out to eat Manhattan or perhaps terrorize drivers on Route 66. But, I’m sorry to say, nothing so thrilling as that will appear in my little screed today. However, if you’re getting older you might want to keep reading, as there may be some things in this little essay that hit home.
So, why is this essay called “The Dryer”? Well, because it is about a clothes dryer – an American clothes dryer. I have read articles about how our friends in Britain don’t like clothes dryers and tend to dry their clothes on racks in their living rooms. That’s what Google says, anyway:
“While many British households do own a tumble dryer, they are often viewed as a “last resort” rather than a daily necessity. If you’ve ever noticed “clothes horses” (drying racks) in every UK living room or seen laundry hanging out even in chilly weather, it’s due to a mix of architecture, economics, and a bit of cultural stubbornness. “
Now, keep your cool and don’t blow up at me. That’s what Google said. I have no idea what’s really going on over there, as I have never had the pleasure of visiting Great Britain.
This essay is called The Dryer becasue it’s about a clothes dryer and about getting old.
OK, so when you’re young and if you have the money, you’re going to be looking for the latest internet-connected, AI-powered clothes dryer with as many LED lights and gadgets as the manufacturer could squeeze on it. You’re going to be looking for a good warranty too. This won’t be the last dryer you’ll ever buy, but you still want it to last longer than a modern, AI-powered, internet-connected, crushed-ice-making, grocery-shopping-delivery-portal modern refrigerator… which now last about 5 years compared to my old 1965 GE refrigerated which died just two years ago after serving beer in my garage for almost 5 decades – yes — we are both that old… well it was. It’s dead now, but I’m not, but I am quite sure my warranty has expired.
My old 1966 GE refrigerator died a few years ago; my dryer died a few days ago.
Shopping for a new dryer at my age is not nearly as much fun as for my first dryer – when long warranties mattered. I am not going to kid myself. I don’t need a 20-year-warranty on my new dryer. Anyway, because I no longer like hobbling around in huge stores like Home Depot, Lowe’s, or Menards, I did my dryer shopping online. I wanted the biggest, cheapest dryer without any computerized gizmos, AI superpowers, or LCD screens or flashing LED lights. I wanted no fancy knobs or dials. I just want to dry my clothes in a reasonable amount of time. I found a Whirlpool dryer on sale for $488. That’s about as cheap as you’re going to find. However. adding $65 for an “installation kit” and a $50 “haul away” fee, the final price was around $600.
Because I’m broke and cheap, and I have an older son who loves me (my younger son does too and I love them both so much), I was able to get the dryer installed free and a friend of my son’s hauled the old dryer away for free. So I got the Whirlpool dryer for $488+ tax.
It’s kind of sad buying your “last” car, TV, refrigerator, washer, dryer… It’s like when you’re pushing 80, and you want to adopt a cat.
When I was young, I would buy the best brands and pay monthly because I had less money then than I have now, and I barely have any now. Plus, it was always fun getting something new as long as you could afford the monthly payments.
Now, I don’t want anything new. I want my old broken-down fake-leather recliner. I want my baggy old sweat pants that dry so nicely in my new dryer. I don’t want a new stove, a new refrigerator, or a new car, because if I had to buy any of those, it would be my last of any of those. And God help me if my furnace goes awry during this cruel, bitter, endless winter we’re in the middle of here.
I never wanted to buy my last of anything, but I’m quite sure I’ve purchased my last dryer.
dont bet on it being your last drier those new ones are throw aways when they stop working at any time after a week. made in china or banglidesh. hope this doesnt happen to you it did to me.
I am also looking at 80 and am darned if I am going to buy one of the washers or dryers with all buttons. My dryer and refrigerator still work with a repair guy who understands. Had to buy a washer recently and, of course, bought the least expensive. It runs like an old truck and dances once in a while, but what’s a little noise.
The only problem I have is trying not to acquire another cat. They park on my deck and tell me sad stories.
Ha! A timely piece if there ever was one. Within the past two years I have (had to) purchase 1. New hot water heater, 2. New washing machine, 3. New stove, 4. New recliner, 5. New roof, 6. New heat exchanger on the furnace (yesterday), and an (almost) new car.
Of all these things the only one that is performing better than the old models, even as they wore out, is the stove.
The hot water heater is expected to live 10 years. The old one lasted 18 and provided a steady flow of nice, hot water.. It’s hit or miss with this one. You have to plan your shower. The washing machine makes scary and threatening noises and beats my clothes into submission. The recliner was broken by my large son-in-law, who actually purchased a new one for me but I made him take it back. I liked my old lazy boy better until the handle broke off. The roof? No one buys a new roof just because they want one-not at $15,000. Now my house is no longer paid for but has a brand new HELOC.
Saved the car for last. It is now five years old but had just under 30.000 miles on the odometer when I bought it. It was a lease turn-in so I figured it worked ok and most likely the leasee just didn’t want to pay a penalty for going over the mileage. The description on the dealer’s website listed many options, most of which I didn’t understand but they sounded cool and modern. Since it was going to be my ‘last’ car I decided to indulge myself. It looked great and smelled new. The old car was parked in the garage so I let my son drive the new one in while I evaluated the space. I swear that car looked at me with its beady little headlights turning to stare, as it claimed its place in the garage. Later I learned what adaptive headlights are. I hardly drive it because frankly, I’m afraid of it. Case in point; took it to the bank to make a payment on the HELOC and to charge the battery. It was -13 degrees. When I came out it wouldn’t start. Start? It does not have a key, just a push button that I have always been suspicious of since I live in a northern tier state and don’t know how to coax a push button to start when the temp is below zero. Every light on the dash was either flashing or glaring at me. I didn’t know which one was in distress because I didn’t recognize any of the symbols. I finally got it started but don’t know how. Just luckiy, I guess. It is in the garage now after racing home at 10 miles an hour. There is no dealership for this brand in my town, either. I called the salesman and when I described the problem(s) he first suggested it might be because of the cold or because I’ld only driven it 3 miles. In either case, in my mind the care is now not reliable. After reading the manual (4 inches thick) I THINK it might be because it has sonar sensors in the rear bumper that cause some things to fail to operate if the sensors are obstructed by salt, snow, stickers, paint, mud, railroad tracks etc. You get the idea. But, these sensors do not recognize humans. The idea is to avoid a collision, not a homicide. When the sensors are activated everything shuts down (i think). So I’m fed up and want another car like the 2017 model that’s been basic and reliable the entire time I’ve owned it while the newer one sits in the garage, soaking up car payments and insurance. premiums. Why did I buy it? Because it was to be my ‘last car’.